Happy Birthday Jesus!

I hate that I hate Christmas.

Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of our Savior and for me it hasn't been in a long time. Growing up all my friends thought it was cool that I got to have 2 Christmases because my parents were divorced and, when I was little, I guess I agreed. But when I became an adult and the Christmas schedule was no longer decided for me it became a pain.

This Christmas season was short and quick thanks to our cruise at the beginning of December. I forgot it was even December, much less almost Christmas, for an entire week! Before I knew it Christmas was here and gone. Now that its all over it feels like nothing more than an exhausting weekend.

Don't get me wrong- I LOVE seeing all of my family and having a full weekend of big home cooked meals. And I like shopping for most of my family... if I can find a present that is unique to someone that I know they'll love then I feel good. Its all the traveling and having to be a seven places at once and cutting visits short with people and not being able to actually spend the time and give people the attention they deserve that I hate most. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions for something that's not even about me. We didn't even have time for church, for the one that mattered most this holiday season.

Next year will be different. We'll still see all of our family but it may only be once instead of three times like we saw some people this year. And we're going to go to church. Not just on Christmas, but every weekend. And not because it's Jesus's birthday but because I miss having the relationship I once had with Him. Its not about anyone else except me and Mickey and God being the center of our marriage.

This year I'm gonna work on Me. And Us. And less on You.